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No one is an island – although we might all like to be sometimes. After all, the constant interacting, reacting, and communicating can really be exhausting. But on the other hand, without a counterpart, we can’t grow and become aware of our own blind spots or the effect of our own behaviour on others. Recently, for example, a presentation didn’t go well at all. And yet everything seemed perfect: an exciting topic, lots of new information, an interested audience. But after ten minutes, you could feel it – the audience began to lose interest. “You’re the expert, we’re not. It wasn’t always easy to follow you,“ said a coworker afterwards. The presentation was too crammed with information and went too deep into the weeds. This was an important piece of feedback that I should adapt my presentation to suit the audience better.

“We all need feedback. This is the only way for us to feel valued and learn how we can improve,“ says Laura Schult, Head of Performance & Talent Management, HR GF. Feedback nourishes us and helps us grow. When something goes well, positive feedback motivates us. If it reveals small weaknesses, it helps us. “It’s important that feedback is given in a trusting environment. We need to be sure that the person providing the feedback has our best interests at heart,“ says Miriam Rauen, Senior Expert, HR GF.

Laura Schult, together with her coworker Miriam Rauen, has compiled a list of ideas and practical tips on how to give and receive feedback successfully. First let’s look at the person providing the feedback.

Gather Facts, Describe Without Judgment
What feedback would I like to give about the situation as I experienced it? One feedback model is centered on four aspects: observation, impact, switch, and wish. It helps you clearly analyze what you noticed in a specific situation, making it easier to describe the situation as specifically and objectively as possible when giving feedback.

Perception: What are the facts? What behaviour did I observe?

Impact: What was I feeling and thinking at the time? How did this behaviour make me feel? What message did I receive?

(Switch:) At this point, it often helps to switch your perspective. How did the person receiving the feedback perceive the situation? How did they feel?

Wish: What would I like to see in the future? What options, tips, or advice do I want to share in my feedback? What do we want to agree on – especially taking into account the perspective of the person receiving the feedback.

When It’s Time to Talk...

It’s best not to allow too much time to pass between the situation and the feedback. In fact, it’s best to provide feedback immediately afterwards.
Particularly critical feedback should only be given in private.
If my goal is to get the other person to make a major behavioural change, it can be useful to offer help.
Did I sufficiently engage with the individual situation of the person I’m providing feedback to?
Is the person I’m talking to very surprised by my feedback? This means you haven’t given them enough feedback in the past.
And always remember: feedback should motivate and help the other person to grow.

Receive Feedback with an Open Mind

When you receive feedback, you should bear in mind that it can help you better understand your own effect on others. It isn’t a criticism of you as a person. In fact, the opposite is true: it can reveal behaviour that you may not have even been aware of.
Listen actively and attentively. Ask if anything is unclear.
Take time to let the feedback sink in and do not respond immediately.
Perhaps you knew what was coming and had already prepared yourself? Have the courage to be honest and say the things that are important to you. This way, you can openly ask for help or express criticism of a project. Trust that the other person also has only the best intentions.